I know I may be going out on a limb here, but I may not be too far from the thoughts of the pack, but here’s a 2022 take fresh off the garbage press: I enjoyed J-Lo and Owen Wilson’s atrocious, worse-than-Hallmark cookie-cutter “movie” Marry Me more than Blonde. Oh my god, what a dumpster fire.
With something that had so much potential, and the star power of the always lovely Ana de Armas, how did it end up so incredibly horrible? I felt like I became dumber while watching it. A stale performance in an overall grotesque and lazy excuse for a biopic with some “fiction” in there. It subjects Ana de Armas to the same exposure and exploitation that Marilyn Monroe suffered from. Inexcusable. Netflix (and Brad Pitt) should feel ashamed.
It was an easy choice to place Blonde at the bottom of my yearly rankings and, therefore, at the top of this cycle’s Shit List.
Here are some Honorable Mentions before I reveal my most disliked “films” from this year (although I already spoiled #1, whoops).
- Pinocchio (A rare miss by Zemeckis and Hanks)
- Morbius
- Black Panther: Wakanda Forever
- Thor: Love and Thunder (Hint, there’s a theme: not a good year for comic book movies)
- Deep Water (Not a good year for de Armas)
Like Sports Center, here is my 2022 Not Top 10:
- Blonde
- Marry Me
- Disenchanted
- Lightyear
- Men
- The Lost City
- Black Adam
- Uncharted
- The Gray Man
- Don’t Worry Darling
I have to admit, it feels pretty good creating a physical list of all the movies I hated the most this year due to the pain I felt giving my attention to them for a combined 1,208 minutes. Just over 20 hours of my life were devoted to these ten horrible moving pictures. But I digress, as I should not complain – thankfully, 2022 gave us Babylon and The Fabelmans.
The Revenge of Cinema 